Home
She was in the bathroom, putting on her makeup, under the watchful
eyes of her young granddaughter as she'd done many times before.
After she applied her lipstick and started to leave, the little one said,
"But Gramma, you forgot to kiss the toilet paper good-bye!"
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My young grandson called the other day to wish me Happy Birthday.
He asked me how old I was, and I told him, "62." He was
quiet for a moment, and then he asked, "Did you start at 1?
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After putting her grandchildren to bed, a grandmother changed into
old slacks and a droopy blouse and proceeded to wash her hair.
As she heard the children getting more and more rambunctious, her
patience grew thin. At last she threw a towel around her head
and stormed into their room, putting them back to bed with stern
warnings. As she left the room, she heard the three-year-old say
with a trembling voice, "Who was THAT?"
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A grandmother was telling her little granddaughter what her own
childhood was like: "We used to skate outside on a pond. I had a
swing made from a tire; it hung from a tree in our front yard.
We rode our pony. We picked wild raspberries in the woods."
The little girl was wide-eyed, taking this in. At last she said,
"I sure wish I'd gotten to know you sooner!"
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My grandson was visiting one day when he asked, "Grandma, do you
know how you and God are alike?"
I mentally polished my halo while I asked, "No, how are we alike?"
"You're both old," he replied.
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A little girl was diligently pounding away on her grandfather's word
processor. She told him she was writing a story. "What's it
about?" he asked.
"I don't know," she replied "I can't read."
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I didn't know if my granddaughter had learned her colors yet, so
I decided to test her. I would point out something and ask what
color it was. She would tell me, and always she was correct.
But it was fun for me, so I continued. At last she headed for the door,
saying sagely, "Grandma, I think you should try to figure out
some of these yourself."
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My 3-year-old granddaughter and I were studying the world globe,
and finding different points of interest. I pointed to the ocean
and asked her what that was. She was hesitant to answer, so I said,
"that's the ocean." Whereupon she said, "Very good!"
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When my grandson Billy and I entered our vacation cabin, we kept
the lights off until we were inside to keep from attracting pesky
insects. Still, a few fireflies followed us in. Noticing them before
I did, Billy whispered, "It's no use, Grandpa. The mosquitoes are
coming after us with flashlights."
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When my grandson asked me how old I was, I teasingly replied,
"I'm not sure." "Look in your underwear, Grandma," he advised.
"Mine says I'm 4 to 6."
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A second grader came home from school and said to her grand
mother, "Grandma, guess what? We learned how to make babies
today."
The grandmother, more than a little surprised, tried to keep her
cool. "That's interesting," she said, "How do you make babies?"
"It's simple," replied the girl. "You just change 'y' to 'i' and
add 'es'"
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Children's Logic: "Give me a sentence about a public servant,"
said a teacher.
The small boy wrote: "The fireman came down the ladder pregnant."
The teacher took the lad aside to correct him. "Don't you know
what pregnant means?" she asked.
'Yes," said the young boy confidently. "It means carrying a child."
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A nursery school teacher was delivering a station wagon full of kids
home one day when a fire truck zoomed past. Sitting in the
front seat of the fire truck was a Dalmatian dog. The children
started discussing the dog's duties.
"They use him to keep crowds back," said one youngster.
"No, said another, "he's just for good luck"
A third child brought the argument to a close. "They use the dogs,"
she said firmly, "to find the fire hydrant".
