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A newly married man asked his wife, 'Would you have married me if my father hadn't left me a fortune?'
'Honey,' the woman replied sweetly, 'I'd have married you, no matter WHO left you a fortune!'
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A wife asked her husband: 'What do you like most in me, my pretty face or my sexy body?'
He looked at her from head to toe and replied: 'I like your sense of humour!'
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Son: 'Mum, when I was on the bus with Dad this morning, he told me to give up my seat to a lady.'
Mom: 'Well, you have done the right thing.'
Son: 'But mum, I was sitting on daddy's lap.'
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An elderly man goes into a brothel and tells the madam he would like a young girl for the night. Surprised, she looks at the ancient man and asks how old he is.
'I'm 90 years old,' he says.
'90!' replies the woman. 'Don't you realize you've had it?'
'Oh, sorry,' says the old man. 'How much do I owe you?'
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Susan Boyle has a photo shoot tomorrow for her new album.
Simon Cowell wishes to improve her image by surrounding her with real & proper ugly bastards.....The bus will pick you up at nine, try not to miss it there's a tenner in it for you
'Honey,' the woman replied sweetly, 'I'd have married you, no matter WHO left you a fortune!'
**************************************************************************
A wife asked her husband: 'What do you like most in me, my pretty face or my sexy body?'
He looked at her from head to toe and replied: 'I like your sense of humour!'
**************************************************************************
Son: 'Mum, when I was on the bus with Dad this morning, he told me to give up my seat to a lady.'
Mom: 'Well, you have done the right thing.'
Son: 'But mum, I was sitting on daddy's lap.'
**************************************************************************
An elderly man goes into a brothel and tells the madam he would like a young girl for the night. Surprised, she looks at the ancient man and asks how old he is.
'I'm 90 years old,' he says.
'90!' replies the woman. 'Don't you realize you've had it?'
'Oh, sorry,' says the old man. 'How much do I owe you?'
*************************************************************************
Susan Boyle has a photo shoot tomorrow for her new album.
Simon Cowell wishes to improve her image by surrounding her with real & proper ugly bastards.....The bus will pick you up at nine, try not to miss it there's a tenner in it for you